1. Over 90% of your Pain will come from Relationships.
Pain is critical for growth and advancement, but certain kinds of pain can be limiting and destructive. And 90% of the destructive pain will come from your relationships. These relationships include relationships with the wrong people, outgrown relationships that you must let go of, and misplaced trust in the wrong people. Thus, to have a restful retirement you must understand how relationships work and how you can use them to create pleasure in retirement and not schedule pain. You must also know that they are two kinds of pain.
There are two kinds of pain in the world that result from relationships. The first is the pain of Indiscipline and the second is the pain of Growth. The Pain of Indiscipline is any pain that results from inaction, wrong decisions, the wrong company, rebellion to correction, and procrastination. This pain leads to regrets, resentment, and blame and should be avoided at all costs. This pain can come from people that make you do the wrong things or people that prevent you from doing the right things. It can also come from your own indiscipline and unwise decisions. Growth pain in contrast is any pain that results from the steady progress towards a worthwhile goal.
Every new level that you desire to achieve today will require pain to get there. But this pain is beneficial pain. It is in fact condensed wisdom that is required to maintain success at a particular level. Sometimes this pain would come from people that are trying to motivate you, push you beyond your comfort zones, and bring out the best in you. Other times this pain will come from your own self-motivation and internal drive. The key here is to embrace this pain and not reject. You must also recognize the relationships that play a role in bringing you this pain and align with them. Growth pain is too much-condensed wisdom to let go of. And rejecting it is rejecting your next level. The key here is to minimize the pain of indiscipline and optimize the pain of growth.
2. You will need success relationships to thrive in retirement.
Aside from money, a rich relationship is another important thing to have in retirement. And your success relationship is any kind of relationship that can increase your wealth and financial success. There are two kinds of success relationships. The first is your wealth relationships and the second is your Love and romantic relationships.
Your wealth relationships
To succeed in retirement, you need wealth relationships to help you. Wealth relationships are any kind of relationship that can increase your wealth and financial success. And there are three kinds of wealth relationships. The First is your Source relationship. This is the relationship with your source and manufacturer. The second is Self-Relationship. This is the relationship with yourself also known as the intrapersonal relationship. And the Third is the People relationship. This is the relationship with other people also known as Interpersonal relationship. Below let us look at each of them.
i. Your source relationship.
Your source relationship is the relationship with your source. And there is no true success outside the manufacturer. This is so because your manufacturer knows you better than you know yourself. And he knows the exact things you need to do to be successful. Any success that is pursued outside the manufacturer will be full of trial and error, pain, and be devoid of true happiness. Thus, developing a relationship with your manufacturer is the shortest way to success. And without this relationship, there are about three questions you would not be able to answer. The first question is -Who am I. This is the question of identity and how you define yourself. It is also the question about belief systems and what you believe about yourself. A solid Identity is important because you cannot outperform how you see yourself.
Also, a solid identity breeds healthy self-esteem. And healthy self-esteem is the source of Confidence. Confidence is essential for success and the lack of confidence is the reason why many people fail. Although we have earthly identities that can be traced to our families of birth. These are only birth channel identities and not the Source Identity. Our source identity is the manufacturer, and only the manufacturer can give you a true picture of yourself. Thus, developing a relationship with the manufacturer is in your own best interest. And it is the only way to thrive in a world full of adversity, uncertainty, and fear. Without this relationship, you would be controlled by fear, the opinions of others, and the circumstances surrounding you. Fear is the biggest inhibitor of action. And without action you cannot achieve any results.
The second question you may not be able to answer is – Where am I from? This is a question of Origin and Source. Your primary origin is not from earth. Your primary origin is from your source and manufacturer. And you know the source of a thing by what sustains it. Our parents, friends, and Jobs do not sustain us. Our True sustainer is the one that ensures that we wake up every morning.
The third question you may not be able to answer is- why Am I here? This is the question of purpose. Why are you on the planet? What about you makes the world a better place? What role do you play? And why are you necessary in the world? Without a deep relationship with your manufacturer, you cannot find the true answers to these questions. Your fellow man may give you opinions about yourself. Circumstances may define you temporarily. But only the Manufacturer knows the truth about you. And it is this truth that will set you free.
So, if you go into retirement still dependent on the opinions of other people and allowing circumstances to define you. You will suffer a stressful, painful, and unhappy life. The fastest route to peace is to only believe what the manufacturer says about you. That is what would matter at the end of the day. Your source relationship is thus the most important wealth relationship to have. And it is the foundation for the success of any other earthly relationship.
ii. Your Self Relationship.
The second wealth relationship you must have is Self-Relationship. Self-relationship is self-discovery, and it is the relationship with yourself. A healthy self-relationship is a deep connection with yourself and respect for yourself. It is also the dependence on oneself for your own happiness. While the source relationship will give you internal joy. You control your own happiness to a great degree. And happiness comes from productivity, impact, and personal progress. And not from rest or slowing down. Thus, to thrive in retirement, you must live a productive and impactful life. A healthy self-relationship is thus the second most important wealth relationship to have. It is the foundation for the success of all interpersonal relationship.
Self-relationship ultimately boils down to becoming a whole person. You are a whole person when you have these Nine Attributes.
- Purpose-You know your Purpose, why you are here, and who you are called to serve.
- Destiny-You know where you are going-That is your life has a clear direction and destination.
- Capacity -You Know what you can do and the problems you are called to solve.
- Resources-You have viable Seeds that you can sow to Produce the results that you want.
- Needs- You have Goals that are Bigger than your resources, but you can figure out a way to get what you need.
- Helpers-You know who you need to get to where you want to go, and you can initiate and form those relationships.
- The Obstacles: You know what is standing in your way, what you need to let go of, and what you need to embrace to move to the next level. And you are willing to make the changes.
- Happiness -You manufacture your own happiness and depend on yourself for Happiness. You depend on your source for Joy. And you depend on other people for the Happiness that comes from service and adding value to them. Not depending on them.
- Fulfilment: You get your life’s fulfillment from serving other people and adding value to the world. Not from just serving yourself.
Having these attributes makes you a high-value person to yourself, your source, and other people It also makes you an asset to the world. The best gift you can give to anyone is your best self. And only self-relationships can help you produce your best self. The deeper you relate with yourself, the more grounded, disciplined, and productive you would become. And the easier it will be for you to succeed. All the success that you need right now is already here. But it is waiting for the advanced version of you that can handle it. The sooner you grow the quicker you would see results. The truth is you grow into success; you don’t seize success.
iii. The Relationship with Other People-Interpersonal Relationships
The third wealth relationship that you need is the Interpersonal relationship. Interpersonal relationships are the relationships you have with other people. You need these relationships because people are important in your journey to financial success. And in retirement, you would need people to aid your success. All successful people became successful through the help of other people. And you must know how to position yourself for help. Thus, true success is not just about giving and achieving. It is also about receiving and learning to be a good receiver. There are two common strategies people employ when they try to get help. The first is the wait-and-see strategy. People wait, hope, and pray for a lucky chance. This luck may or may never happen. And the second is the positioning strategy. People position for the kind of help that they desire. This has a higher chance of success. Whichever philosophy you apply, the key is to know that you cannot succeed without people.
So why would anyone want to enter a relationship with you?
The answer is simple.
People enter a relationship to solve a problem.
Any relationship you are in today you entered because you wanted to solve a problem. This problem can be financial like the employer-employee relationship. It can be transformational like the relationship I have with my clients. And it can also be emotional like the relationship between a husband and wife. Without problem-solving, there would be no incentive to endure, tolerate or overlook the excesses of another person. Talk more about living or working together.
Thus, the essence of all interpersonal relationships is to solve a problem. And the best way to attract great relationships into your life is to become great at solving problems.
So, if all relationships are based on problem-solving, and we are all in relationships, this means that we are all problem solvers. This is true. Yet not all relationships lead to financial transformation. And not all problems are income-generating problems. To solve problems that generate income you must form relationships that create wealth and problems that generate high income. When you solve high-income problems, you attract high-quality people, and you earn a higher pay. This means that the problem you solve is what determines your income. You don’t choose your income. You choose the problem, and the problem determines the income. Thus, if you want to earn more income in retirement or maintain your living standard at its current level. You must focus on solving high-income problems.
These are the three wealth relationships that you need to thrive in retirement.
Now let’s look at how interpersonal relationships can make you rich and the type of interpersonal relationships you should focus on.
About the author
Grace Agada is the most sought-after Financial Planning expert for high income professionals, CEO’s and Top Government Officials. She is quoted frequently in leading National Newspapers, magazines, and blogs. Grace is a Renowned Keynote Speaker, Author, and Column Contributor in Punch Newspaper, This Day Newspaper, Vanguard newspaper, Business Day Newspaper, Leadership Newspaper, The Tribune Newspaper, and Online Platforms like Nairametrics, Proshare, Bellanaija and Newstimes. Grace is the Founder of “The University of Wealth” The author of “The Financial Freedom MBA Programs”, “The Better Life Retirement Planning Programs” and “The Wealthy Business Blueprint”. Grace is on a mission to shrink the middle class and populate the upper class. And help Entrepreneurs move from Chaotic success to predictable and recurring success in their business. Grace has been featured on BBC Africa. Business Day TV. Inspiration FM. and inside Naijatv. And she consults for Numerous Top Organizations, Company Directors, CEOs, Senior Executives, Top Government Officials and High-Income Professionals.